What is an empath?

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What is an empath?
The Psi-zone

I get this question a lot, so let me try and explain just exactly what one is.

An empath is someone who picks up on the emotions and / or feelings around them. It may be the feelings of someone they are close to. It might be the general feelings in a room or even when there is a very strong emotion around the world, such as fear.

I believe that we are all empaths at some level, but it seems the majority are so low level that they aren't aware of any other feelings but their own. They might be considered the lucky ones.

The ones who are prone to problems are what I call high level empaths. They are like a psychic sponge, picking up feelings and emotions from all around them. Most of the time, they don't even know they are doing this, and do not understand that the feelings they feel are not always their own ones.

For instance, you might be feeling good, but suddenly, for no apparent reason, you have a drop in your emotions. This might be due to a friend or partner dropping in their emotions and you are picking up on this. This is a sympathetic attachment, and it's not unusual for someone to feel down or depressed in sympathy with another. Unfortunately, it's not healthy, either.

Most high level empaths who pick up feelings like a sponge, tend to do so because they are ungrounded. This means, part of them does not want to actually be here on this planet, and so the spirit is 'out there' rather than in the body. This becomes a viscous cycle, as the more ungrounded you are, the more negativity you can pick up, and the less you wish to return to your body.

Grounded people are rarely swayed by another's feelings, even if they do feel them.

Empaths often suffer greatly because they do not understand what is happening to them. They are not aware that their feelings are not their own. They do not understand why they are feelings depressed, anxious, desponded, etc, and rarely will they actually connect it to others.

Most high level empaths are prone to clinical depression and are prone to take on the problems and pain of others, as though that will lessen it.

Being an empath doesn't have to be all bad, though. It can be a very powerful and potent tool for connecting with others and helping them to heal. It can also bring an incredible amount of joy if you are able to control it.

Early warning system.

A very useful side of being empathic is that you can tell when someone is doing something behind your back, or if something important or serious is up. I've used this at work a number of times to uncover problems that were potentially damaging to me and to hit them on the head before they could do any harm. To others, it might well seem that I'm incredibly lucky or... psychic!

When two empaths get together...

Two empaths together can be a fatal combination if both get caught on a spiraling downwards circle. For instance, one might pick up their partner being distressed and down. This will distress them, which will in turn cause them to feel even more stressed and down, which will further distress the partner, and so on.

The problem with this cycle is that things might well return back to normal very quickly if they weren't being perpetuated by the other. Having experienced this, I often got frustrated that things would go well beyond where they should have because we kept on feeding of each other.

One way to break this cycle is to name it and discuss what is happening. As the tendency is to not discuss what is happening, this can be harder than it seems, especially if you feel that you're on a rapid downhill slide and all you wish to do is curl up and hide away in a hole from the rest of the world.

Another annoying thing with two high level empaths is that if you are focused on your partner, friend, or whatever, and you take your attention away from them, even if they are on the other side of the world, they will pick up on this instantly. Let me tell you that this is not only no fun, but it is incredibly draining. Empathic people should not get together unless they have their powers under control.
Being an empath can be quite a challenge. Many don't know they are empaths and many have no clue what to do with such an ability.

You may be an empath if:


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You can't bear loud noises - They go right through you. Mind you, this can be due to other causes.
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You hate parties / night clubs / crowds - You stand around wondering how anyone can have a good time and honestly wonder if others are really enjoying themselves.
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You suffer anxiety, but there is no apparent cause
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You feel depressed for no apparent reason
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You take on the guilt of others and their actions
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You are overly sensitive to people and sense if they don't want you around. You tend to avoid such people if you feel you're not wanted.
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You are feeling ungrounded.
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You always are sensitive to how others will feel.
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You always try to give people the benefit of the doubt in case there's a good reason why they are acting like a total ass.


Unless you are an empath, you will find it hard to understand what it's like. Many non empathic people will simply pooh pooh the concept. Some will feel uncomfortable if they believe that another can read their feelings.

Being an empath is more common than people might think. Women, by their nature, are more prone to being empathic. Males are less common, but possibly suffer more as they don't fully fit into being with 'real men'. That does not mean that an empathic male is gay, but just less interested in the earthier things. Many will have little interest in cars, sports, people blowing up each other, etc.

Being an empath does not make a person any better than another. It's simply another ability. Not does it make a person chosen, special, spiritual or automatically good. Those things come through your intentions, your actions and your goals.

When I first found a spiritual community many years ago, I discovered three things: Having psychic abilities does not make one spiritual, good or knowledgeable. In fact, i was quite appalled to see how many just had egos that were running out of control. The three things are quite exclusive.

You can be spiritual without being good or knowledgeable.

You can be knowledgeable without being good or spiritual.

You can be good without being spiritual or knowledgeable.

Some of the most spiritual people I know have no apparent psychic ability.

So being empathic does not mean you are any of those three. That comes from who you are, what you do and what you have taken the time to experience and study.

I say this because there is a perception that if you're an empath, this makes you somehow better than another. It certainly makes you different, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. But be wary. Don't use it to big note oneself. Use it wisely. Tell others when it's appropriate. Don't just bring it up out of context. Far from being impressed, most people will find it annoying. Some may even resent you.

The reason I give this caution is that being an empath, you will pick up on these things. You will find that the rush of finding out that you are empathic can easily be countered by what you get from another.

I've met quite a few people who claimed to be empaths, but interestingly enough, they never seem to really pick up on what I'm feeling. I remember having someone proudly proclaim to me that he was an empath while being totally oblivious to the fact that I was one, too.

I would suggest that they would be medium level empaths. Those who do indeed have empathy, but it's limited and not very highly refined.

I believe a high level empath can tell who is an empath and who is not pretty easily. Distance isn't really a barrier as you can pick up a sensation, a type of feeling from others.

It's also not uncommon for an empath to be somewhat telepathic. They are able to pick up people's thoughts. I believe what happens is that the empathy attunes you to others vibrational levels and this in turn attunes you to the vibrational levels of thought. Normally, though, it's a very subtle thing and you don't tend to notice it unless the other person says something.

So you've just found out that you're an empath. What do you do now?

Leaning to deal with empathy can be tricky, especially if you're not in a good space.
Another thing I had to do to help gain control over my empathy was to stop feeding my dramas. The Celestine Prophecy put four main drama's into a nutshell. (Aloof / Interrogator / Intimidator / Poor me.) I used to be aloof and then fall into poor me mode. Even though i certainly didn't enjoy it, and even though they never worked for any length of time, I never saw myself as being in a drama. To my mind, I was the misunderstood soul battling against all odds in a world that didn't understand less care. (I still thing this planet is seeped in massive insanity, but I no longer feel like it's me against the world.) In truth, no one really notices that much when you are aloof. They just assume that you're not interested. Poor me / victim people are generally avoided as they can be draining

The thing with dramas is that they are hard to accept that you are in them while you are in them. What's more, even if you know you are in them, you really don't care and it just annoys and anger you for someone to point it out. It was not until I made the decision to consciously stop entering into them that things really started to change for me..

One of the keys was being honest with myself. I would often pretend one motivation while really secretly harbouring another. And yes, my reasons were always sound, but they were not the real reasons I would do things. Ultimately, such behaviour ends up being counter productive and denying your real reasons for doing something, even to yourself, does not make them any less real or valid.

This can be dangerous behaviour for an empath to indulge in because you are unwittingly creating chinks in your boundaries.

Boundaries are the limits you set for yourself. They are very important, especially for an empath, because once you've set them, and more importantly, enforce them, then you will start to know where you end and others begin. Limits such as, for example, refusing to be drawn into someone's drama. Refusing to take on the guilt of someone else. Not getting involved in pointless gossip. Those are just examples. What you choose to define is completely up to you, but whatever you choose, do your best to enforce it.

By setting boundaries, you are also defining yourself, and that is why it's important to be as honest with yourself as possible. By pretending another reason for doing things, you are leaving yourself open because you are creating a limit which you are not aware of.

Self Analysis

Another tool, which can be just as challenging, is self analysis. Watching everything you do, say think and feel. Eventually, you start to get a greater picture of who you really are. This is normally said to be to be done by those who are actively on the spiritual path. The benefit is that not only do you start to understand your limits and current boundaries, but they help you to redefine yourself. Decide who you wish to be and make every word, thought, action reflect this. But remember, you cannot be something that you do not wish to be in your heart. You can change in the short term, but you will always revert eventually, unless it's something that is at the core of you.

Techniques for coping:

Some of the techniques I've used are:

Bach Flower Remedies. - This healing tools are invaluable for an empath. They help clarify, crystallize and bring comfort. Before I knew I was empathics, and before I had been introduced to the remedies, I used to have extreme highs followed by sudden drops in my moods. I would go from feeling great to anxious, depressed and down within a few moments. I would try and catch myself as i did this and try and follow a flow to bring myself back up, like trying to recover a kite that's about to crash to earth. I never succeeded and I really hated feeling that way. Certainly nothing I tried made much difference. It wasn't until I started using the Bach Flower Remedies that I was able to take control of this. Nowadays, I can say that I'm pretty happy and content and if I feel a downward slide, I am able to identify the cause and take the appropriate remedy for it. It did take me a few years to work out which was which, but years of constant theory and practice have certainly helped me become proficient.

Bach Flower Remedies guide for the empath

If you are feeling ungrounded

The key is wanting to be here. Often physical exercise can help a lot, as it tends to bring you back into your body. Sometimes you can bring yourself back by sheer force of will.

Of course, I would also recommend Bach Flower Remedies, but it greatly depends on what is causing the ungrounding.

If the ungrounding is caused by known fears: Mimulus.

If the ungrounding is caused by terror and panic: Rock Rose

If the ungrounding is caused by dreaminess: Clematis.

If the ungrounding is caused by shock / trauma: Star of Bethlehem.

If the ungrounding is caused by guilt: Pine.

If you are feeling uneasy

Aspen: This is a valuable remedy for those we are experiencing feelings of unease. You just sense something is wrong but can't work out why. Aspen can help protect against astral influences and help clarify or ease the sense that something is wrong. It also helps if you're pick up on fears of another.

Red Chestnut: Concern for another is also another major reason why we can become ungrounded or become open to others feelings and fears. Personally, it drives me nuts that people will worry about me and when I ask them why, they just say it's the way they are. Red Chestnut is a very effective remedy to counter that.

Walnut: The link breaker. Especially useful when you're trying to escape the influence of another person.

Mustard: This is for those who are sensitive to negative energies. They will become depressed for no apparent reason. While aspen will help vague fears, mustard will help the feelings of depression.

Gorse: Very good for when you feel things are hopeless. Empaths can often feel like there is no hope because they are feeling so much of the negativity around them. Taking gorse can certainly help.

Gentian: This would be useful for when you no longer believe that things are going to work out. It's an excellent remedy to use with Gorse.

In general:

Agrimony: Many empaths try to maintain a brave face because they don't want to bother anyone else. They may be feeling tortured by their feelings, but they won't let on. This can be extremely harmful. Agrimony brings relief.

Centaury: Some empaths can't say 'no' to others. Normally because they have a overwhelming desire to please and serve, and they feel guilt if they refuse someone can perhaps cause them pain of disappointment. Centaury really can help there.

Pine: As states above, many empaths take on the guilt of others. Guilt is the great destroyer, and can really ruin a life. Pine is an amazing remedy for those feelings of gult.

Cherry Plum: An empath sometimes will hold it all inside, and get more and more frustrated, eventually this can cause an explosion. Cherry Plum helps diffuse this feeling.
How to cope with being an Empath.

One of the most difficult things about being an empath is the feeling of isolation and loneliness. Most people you tell don't understand. They either think you're crazy, dismiss you as a freak or look at your blankly, wondering what the heck you're talking about. Worse still is the feeling and doubt that you, yourself, might really be crazy.

A support network is something that could help a lot. Though, the web has a few groups that cater for other empaths, they are not always active and some of the people are not even empaths. I certainly think the time has come to start such a network. There are certainly enough people out there. I've set up a group for those who are looking to connect.

There are two groups I'm aware of on yahoo that might be worth joining.
Also there are various chat rooms which are geared towards the psychic side where you will find other empaths.
The good thing about being an empath is that distance doesn't make any difference. You can be on the other side of the world and your connection will be just as strong. So a support group is much easier to create than you might first think.

http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/EmpathSupportGroup/

http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/empathschool/

Chakras

Chakras are energy centers in your body. By visualization techniques, you can open and close them. If they are wide open, they can leave you very vulnerable to energies and psychic influences. This is not a good thing for the empath. Many people open them while meditating, and while it certainly enhances the experience, they forget to close them down afterwards.

When someone has been overwhelmed and is feeling strange, I often suggest they shut their chakras a little and it always seems to help them.

In conclusion:

Being an empath can be a wonderful experience. It can truly be a gift. It may not always be a bed of roses, but if you are able to embrace it, understand and use it, you will find it can enhance your life like sight being given to a blind man.